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Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls
Did you guys know I've seen the old Indiana Jones movies more times than I can count, that I can recite some Crusade scenes from memory if I try? That young Harrison Ford holy shit no one can ever compete Indy was my ill-fated, ill-timed adolescent crush?
Oh, yes. I love my Indy.
SO. For Andrew's birthday today (HAPPY (KINDA) BELATED BIRTHDAY,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
evildrew!!! <3<3<3), we went and saw Indiana Jones and the Plastic Surgery Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls on opening day. Oh yes, watching my Indy--who I had previously considered forever young--with grey hair and wrinkles was painful, and I was suspicious of this old man who had donned the fedora and pretended to be my childhood hero. Soon, however, I realized he had the same half-goofy, half-badass antics, the same cheesy lines, the same crazy escapes and generally the same spirit about him. My Indy! He lived! I sat in glee at the action scenes (Indy's greatest escape yet!), the crazy commies (no moar Nazis? weirdly sad!), the jokes (SNAKES!), and the adorable, adorable character interaction (will not spoil!). Three quarters through the movie, I was thinking "You know? This is actually PRETTY DAMN GOOD, all incredibly unsettling CGI aside!"
AND THEN
AND THEN
SPOILERS!
...Aliens.
...........ALIENS. ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?
what were the writers smoking OH MY GOD, okay, like, up until the end, the alien shtick was fine. It was new! Indy's always going up against weird shit! BUT THEN THE CHAMBER TURNING INTO A FLYING SAUCER AND WHAT THE HELL?! Not only was it on CRACK, but it just didn't seem Indiana Jones-ish. Like, Indy's previous exploits have always involved things of an ethereal, supernatural nature, and while the setting of South America and ancient civilizations there was very cool, the fact that it ended with LOL SPACE TRAVELERS AND A CGI ALIEN WAS COMPLETELY UNCOOL AND JUST... BIZARRE, REALLY.
On a more positive note: I thought I was going to resent Mutt and find him annoying, but I actually really liked him... up until when he tried to put on Indy's hat at the end. >:[ I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T HAVE HIM DO IT, BECAUSE IT WOULDA MADE ME FURIOUS. (Haha @ Indy being all "DE-NIIIIIIIIEEED.") Having Marion as the love interest was really cute and a really smart move (a too-young sweet thing would've been weird and gross) and I honestly had no idea Mutt was his kid until she YELLED IT THROUGH QUICKSAND, which, again, I thought would be an annoying possible development but which was executed in a really funny, endearing way. (AND HOLY SHIT THE SNAKE-ROPE HAHAHAHA I DIED LAUGHING.) Also, BAAAAWWW @ Daddy Jones being dead. ;___;AND THE CHAIR. And I was happy at all the references to Marcus, even if he obviously couldn't be in it. <3
I actually thought Marion and Indy getting married was really cute, dammit. >_>;
Umm... one thing involving characters I disliked: Mac's character seemed really unnecessary. I dunno, maybe just me, but it felt like the movie would have been fine without him? But then again, maybe I'm biased because the whole time, I was like WHERE THE HELL IS SALLAH? DDDDDDDDDDD:
Bottom Line: Exceeded expectations even if the climax was "wtf"-worthy. Old!Indy was surprisingly easy to acclimate to after a while, even though I now feel like I need to watch Raiders to get some my hot Indy fix. >_>;
THE REAL QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND?: I hate to betray my beloved Indy and say this, but yeah, Iron Man was better IMHO. D: If you have to choose between the two, GO FOR THE STILL-ATTRACTIVE TONY STARK. But seriously, I forgot to mention how I saw Iron Man, and it really was fantastic. I won't pretent to know the original canon (omgposer) but the movie was super-enjoyable even for someone new to the series.
THE REAL, REAL QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND?: Actually, it's kind of hard to say if it was better than Temple of Doom, considering the ending. The character interaction works in its favor, though. I SUPPOSE ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
Also, one has to wonder why all these ancient civilizations spent centuries building these intricate structures that are DESIGNED TO IMMEDIATELY FALL APART ONCE SOMEONE ACTUALLY SETS FOOT IN THEM.
We need an Indy at Landel's, stat. A young one. 8D
ORITE: Two more things:
CONCERNING SUPERNATURAL
CONCERNING GAY SUPERHEROES
I blamefamira for the last one.
Oh, yes. I love my Indy.
SO. For Andrew's birthday today (HAPPY (KINDA) BELATED BIRTHDAY,
evildrew!!! <3<3<3), we went and saw Indiana Jones and the AND THEN
AND THEN
SPOILERS!
...Aliens.
...........ALIENS. ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?
what were the writers smoking OH MY GOD, okay, like, up until the end, the alien shtick was fine. It was new! Indy's always going up against weird shit! BUT THEN THE CHAMBER TURNING INTO A FLYING SAUCER AND WHAT THE HELL?! Not only was it on CRACK, but it just didn't seem Indiana Jones-ish. Like, Indy's previous exploits have always involved things of an ethereal, supernatural nature, and while the setting of South America and ancient civilizations there was very cool, the fact that it ended with LOL SPACE TRAVELERS AND A CGI ALIEN WAS COMPLETELY UNCOOL AND JUST... BIZARRE, REALLY.
On a more positive note: I thought I was going to resent Mutt and find him annoying, but I actually really liked him... up until when he tried to put on Indy's hat at the end. >:[ I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T HAVE HIM DO IT, BECAUSE IT WOULDA MADE ME FURIOUS. (Haha @ Indy being all "DE-NIIIIIIIIEEED.") Having Marion as the love interest was really cute and a really smart move (a too-young sweet thing would've been weird and gross) and I honestly had no idea Mutt was his kid until she YELLED IT THROUGH QUICKSAND, which, again, I thought would be an annoying possible development but which was executed in a really funny, endearing way. (AND HOLY SHIT THE SNAKE-ROPE HAHAHAHA I DIED LAUGHING.) Also, BAAAAWWW @ Daddy Jones being dead. ;___;
I actually thought Marion and Indy getting married was really cute, dammit. >_>;
Umm... one thing involving characters I disliked: Mac's character seemed really unnecessary. I dunno, maybe just me, but it felt like the movie would have been fine without him? But then again, maybe I'm biased because the whole time, I was like WHERE THE HELL IS SALLAH? DDDDDDDDDDD:
Bottom Line: Exceeded expectations even if the climax was "wtf"-worthy. Old!Indy was surprisingly easy to acclimate to after a while, even though I now feel like I need to watch Raiders to get some my hot Indy fix. >_>;
THE REAL QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND?: I hate to betray my beloved Indy and say this, but yeah, Iron Man was better IMHO. D: If you have to choose between the two, GO FOR THE STILL-ATTRACTIVE TONY STARK. But seriously, I forgot to mention how I saw Iron Man, and it really was fantastic. I won't pretent to know the original canon (omgposer) but the movie was super-enjoyable even for someone new to the series.
THE REAL, REAL QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND?: Actually, it's kind of hard to say if it was better than Temple of Doom, considering the ending. The character interaction works in its favor, though. I SUPPOSE ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
Also, one has to wonder why all these ancient civilizations spent centuries building these intricate structures that are DESIGNED TO IMMEDIATELY FALL APART ONCE SOMEONE ACTUALLY SETS FOOT IN THEM.
We need an Indy at Landel's, stat. A young one. 8D
ORITE: Two more things:
CONCERNING SUPERNATURAL
CONCERNING GAY SUPERHEROES
I blame
famira for the last one.
no subject
Yeah, agreed on Mac, and same sort of with Oxley. It was like Indy had a whole FF team tagging along with him, which meant a lot of deadweight.
It might have been nicer if it'd been just Marion and Mutt tagging along,
since then, it's just the family business, with Indiana showing the young greaser how it's properly done.Also BAWWWW at Brody being dead too. Sucks that Sallah isn't in it, John Rhys-Davies said earlier that he'd love to be in another Indy film. :/
Need to go watch some Last Crusade to get the taste of LOLaliens out of my brain :(
I'll leave you with this snippet from a disgruntled /tv/, who were trying to come up with good Indy endings:
"I still say adult Short Round at the end, patting Indy on the back saying "Time for love, Dr. Jones" would have been the best ending ever. And than Indy walks out with all the bitches he's ever nailed and tells Mutt to get his ass back to school."
no subject
At least Oxley contributed to the plot and was funny, whereas Mac just was sorta... there? Like LOL traitor and then LOL not and then LOL okay I'm dead now. Whut.
TRUE. D'aaaww Indy family. And yeah WHUT. D: Screw that, man. NEEDS ME SOME CAMELS.
And man, I agree with that quote so very hard. Would have been awesome. D: SHORTYYYY
no subject
Two more things are wonderful.
no subject
But the opening was pretty awesome and you can now say Indy CAN survive being nuked! :D
Also, lol nice motivation poster there. xPPP
no subject