20,000 words



this is a big deal for me okay sfjhaskjfhdfhasfHASJLFKASFK there is a reason I just call this thing "the longfic" and that is because my life has never had any other longfics

( Random Excerpt )

so uh now to sit down and do my schoolwork with as much dogged persistence sometime, um

WHOA, I've been productive lately. Some of this might have to do with telling Court to lock me out of my own Tumblr for weeks at a time and slowly tricking myself into thinking that there is nothing fun on the internet except for writing, but shhh. I'd been really falling behind on schoolwork and script pages, but ever since I had a talk with one of my screenwriting profs, I've been inspired to take his advice and sit down at the same time every night and get around five pages out -- so far, it's been working (even if sometimes I only crank out three or four, um), and I'm finally starting to catch up! WOOHOO!

Annnd, better yet, I've been tackling my LoM/DW longfic and doing a bunch of edits that I'd been putting off, and now I think I'm abooouuut ready to move forward into EXCITING THINGS (aka tardistardistardistardistardistardis). I'm really happy I decided in advance to not post any chapters up until I'd finished and polished, since now I can go back and embed shit and look clever when really I'm just incredibly slow and indecisive kajfhks. But yeah, I'd been leaving that sitting pretty on GooDocs for a while, and now I've moved it into WriteRoom and am WORKING LIKE A DEMON. ...Not that that means. Especially fast for me. BUT STILL. WORKING. CONSISTENTLY. ON A LONG PROJECT. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.

( Excerptttt )

Oh, also picked up my tablet again and so I've been sketching too??? Talented peeps on Plurk (aka Ryu and Brenda) mentioned somewhere that to practice properly, you need to draw things you aren't good at, and that kind of indirectly shamed me into wanting to try that skjfksaf SO BEEN TRYING FULL BODIES? AND SHADING? Badly, but trying nonetheless.

BASICALLY, TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF; LIFE IS GOOD; ETC. ETC. FEELS GOOD, MAN. ♥

Now, to get myself a new internship... 8|a

WHY DO I DECIDE TO LJ POST LIKE WAY IN THE MORNING WHEN I NEED TO SLEEP. I guess I've just missed you, LJ, even with all your retardation. Plurk's been stealing me away from you with its easy posts and quick replies, but at least I know you don't punish me for leaving you for weeks at a time. ;;

Anyway, was just browsing through my Documents folder and LOL OH WOW, SELF. CAN'T TELL WHERE YOUR PRIORITIES LIE AT ALL.

now go actually finish some of those so you can stop CONSTANTLY SADFACING at ninth_wonders. 8(

( Upcoming Heroes spoilers. )

Also, like... I've recently realized that regardless of anything that happens in this current arc of Heroes or how it's executed, suddenly, most of the fics for my OTP in Heroes-dom are all centered around my favorite themes ever, so I can like go to the newsletter and basically be guaranteed a fic that caters to specific indulgences that I previously could hardly ever satisfy, let alone for characters I cared about. THIS IS JUST.....SO NEW AND INCREDIBLE FOR ME

Also, yesterday I had to have my 20-page script read in my screenwriting class and I think it went over pretty well! \o/ Got some really useful concrit from my professor, who seemed to overall really like it, and when the people who'd read the parts handed it back to me they were all complimenting me on it hfaisufla YAY. It really meant a lot to me since I'd actually ended up going with an idea that had been cooking in my head for a while since that's the pitch that my group from a few weeks before had liked the most.

HOWEVER the best part is how, when I got back my anonymous feedback from the other students, one of the responses read: "Was the main character gay? Was the other guy his lover?" .........IUDIHADKLDA I PRETTY MUCH DIED ON THE SPOT GUYS I SUCCESSFULLY PULLED OFF SLASH SUBTEXT FUCK YES.

Also I totally just conked out last night around 11 or 12 and then woke up again around 4 really thirsty and then stayed up an hour or so and then fell asleep again. And now I am sore. D8

HOLY SHIT NEED TO GET GOING TO CLASS /ZOOM

Bahhhh I feel unproductive even when I am being productive.

I'm trying to get up really early so I can talk to Court in the morning (get up super early instead of staying up super late) and also because I'm way better at being on time to class when I wake up way ahead of schedule. The downside to this is, of course, that I can't stay up as late and if I don't properly manage my time, I feel like I've wasted a whole day.

Still, today, I woke up after only like 2 1/2 hours of sleep, did my Creative Writing assignment no sweat, talked to Court, got showered, got dressed, was able to get to class on time by taking the bus (GASP), went to my classes, wrote out some more of sweet, merciful Heroes headcanon oh nathan's lord in heaven a previously abandoned Peter/Adam DarkFuture fic (that I might actually be able to post publicly if I ever finish it, yay!) during said useless Creative Writing class (my prof spent like five minutes singing. I am not joking) and then spent time in my new haven of the SMC library and updated my Schoolhouse scheduling program and worked out my new schedule for catch-up reading and did some of that reading, which I'd been putting off, and once I have a foot in the door, it's much easier for me to complete a task than it is to get up and start it, so... that's good!

So all in all, I feel like I've been productive, but then I think back to apps and how I really need to get my ass in gear on reading them and how we're making people wait so long, and I also think how I was in the library for like four and a half hours and I should have been able to get more done, and just how I have such a horrible sense for time and time management and.... I don't know, I just feel like it takes me so much more time to do things than it should. ;; Even when I'm not actively procrastinating or anything! And then I get home and it's time to sleep again if I want to get up early. Auggghh. Which is what I need to do now. This also all might have to do with my issues with getting to my damn Anthro class on time or even getting to it at all and I hope I can pull a B from the class, at least, and it's ironic since the prof is great and a hilarious lecturer, but... augh, long story, but anyway, I seem to be fixing those problems now. ::Crosses fingers.::

So on one hand, I don't feel down in the dumps or anything like that and I think I'm heading in the right direction for my internal clock's sake, but on the other, I do feel kind of... I dunno, I don't think there's a word for it, but it's like very understated but chronic dissatisfaction and guilt over myself in general, I guess. Even though I do feel like I'm heading in a very positive direction? Idk.

I'll say "indescribable," because then I get to use a shiny new Nathan mood icon. Yeah. >>;;;;;

..................speaking of which.............................. .................NO ERIN YOU ARE NOT GOING INTO THAT RIGHT NOW ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEN YOU NEED TO QUALIFY WHAT YOU DO AND DO NOT KNOW AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE CATCHING UP WITH THIS FUCKING PERSONAL HELL ON EARTH AND GODDAMMIT YOU'RE STARTING ALREADY. ERIN. STOP. NOW. NEED TO GET INTO BED. GET INTO BED. ERIN.

And for once, I listen.

Oh, also, I'm on a huge E.S. Posthumus kick right now. tinted_glass is so my music soulmate. <33333

NO, STOPPIT, BRAIN, I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK INTO MGS IT'S BEEN OVER THREE YEARS I DON'T KAJSHdlskjhfdkgkfs oh god yes I do. D: Andrew finished MGS4, btw, and will write a incoherent ramblepost about the whole experience when I don't have shifts to change and sleep to have.

In less more important news, I've started my Comm 1 class and I GOT A'S IN ALL OF MY CLASSES LAST SEMESTER WOOOOO. 8DDDD Guess my Linguistic Anthropology professor liked my paper after all!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, since I know some of you were interested in reading it: HERE is the Internet Communities & Net Slang paper that I did (.doc format). Um... tell me if it sucked or not? 8D;

Also, I rediscovered this fan mp3 the other week when it came up on shuffle.

Strike911 - Liquid Snake Interviews Psycho Mantis (direct link)

STILL MAKES ME LOL SO HARD. "HEY, MAN, I'M NOT JUDGING YOU; I'M INTO BONDAGE."

And now I must shiftchange.

.....ohmygodiloveliquidsomuch

Edit: OH ALSO THESE WORDLES THINGS ARE AMAZING (idea stolen from zalia):



( MOAR )

Saw Iron Man for a second time yesterday after FULLY SURPRISING Andrew for his birthday with Court and Sabrina having come down. <3 Jenny made delicious cake and we all had an awesome time. 8D

Oh, and since I forgot to mention it the first time I saw it? IRON MAN WAS HOT AND AMAZING AND FANTASTIC. even though I don't know anything about the original canon ohgod poser I rambled and rambled about how Court needed to see it, and now that she has, she's scouring the pages at scans_daily for everything Iron Man and rambling incessantly about needing some version of Tony Stark at damned. I hope I get to see it again with my parents, aaaheheheheh.

ALSO, WHILE WAITING FOR IRON MAN? I saw the new Dark Knight trailer, and like, I'd been excited at the ones I'd seen before, but I totally FLIPPED OUT at this one because HOLY SHIT JOKER AND TWO-FACE AND KAJHSKLADFLSKJH (they're my two favorite Batman villains) and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And now I'm tempted to app Animated Series!Batman at damned. ;_; I need to wait to see if I can handle who I have right now (when I get off of hiatus) and if I want to app Bale!Batman (once I see Dark Knight--WE WANNA DO MIDNIGHT SHOWING, IMAX WOOOOOO). I hope that movie doesn't disappoint me. ;_; ...Or if I don't change my mind between then and now ahahaha. XD

BUT YEAH. SUPERHEROES ON THE BRAIN. Though I'm also looking forward to working on another chapter of the djinnfic. 8D Eeeee Winchesters. <3