Wow I have not used my LJ in forever but GODDAMN I HAVE TO USE IT TONIGHT

HEROES IS CANCELED IT'S CANCELED IT'S FINALLY CANCELED

FUCK THAT THERE WILL BE A TWO-HOUR SPECIAL THAT WILL DRIVE THE STAKE OF OOC CHARACTERIZATION DECISIVELY DEEPER INTO THE HEART OF EVERYTHING ONCE-GOOD IN THIS WORLD BUT OH MY GOD SOON I WILL BE FREE

FREE

FREE

...well not really I'm still going to bitch and whine and write fic and daydream and be obsessed most likely kjsfhak dammit

BUT STILL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD

also I need to make a resolution to use this thing more often FUCK YOU PLURK ADDICTION >8(

ALSO FINISH THAT ONE SYLAR/NATHAN FIC

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ALSO, CROSSING FINGERS FOR HEROES KINKMEME wow self

Oh god

Oh god please Damned people respond so I can do Sylar posts

and try not to

cry

in pain

forever

very related: I SUSPECT IT IS MATT'S POWER THAT GIVES HIM A MENTAL BLOCK TO THE CONTAGIOUS HEROES-VERSE VIRUS OF INSANITY.

Former Heroes star Adrian Pasdar arrested for DUI.

GODDAMMIT. OH GODDAMMIT.

ADRIAN YOU WERE LIKE THE ONLY PART OF THIS MASOCHISTIC OBSESSION I COULD CONSISTENTLY TRUST TO NOT DO ME HARM AND NOW YOU LET ME DOWN TOO. DRUNK DRIVING? SHIT IS NOT OKAY.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAACK

In other news, thanks so much to everyone who posted to my other entry – the support really meant a lot to me, even if, for the reasons I mentioned in that post, it's difficult for me to sit down and reply to everyone. ;; ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (Though to clarify and so people aren't alarmed, my bank account being in the negative and me having to use credit cards are two completely unrelated issues. XD;;; I'm only like... nine bucks in debt. Still need to take care of that shit, though.)

Also, turns out my mom had already paid for the gas and electric. .......and then suddenly my water stopped working properly. WHY? I DO NOT KNOW. I HAVE TO PRACTICALLY TAKE SPONGE BATHS WITH MY LITTLE TRICKLE FROM THE SHOWER HEAD. DAD PLEASE FIX IT

Annnnnnd I need to shift change and sleep because I'm already only gonna get like four hours. ;;

Was gonna blog on the episode (kinda retarded up until the v. enjoyable end) but there are more pressing matters at hand, apparently.

( Definite upcoming spoilers for Heroes. )

Evening ruined. Back to apps.

I CHANGED MY LAYOUT. Well, not really – just the header and the colors. And the original layout isn't even my making so. Um. Yeah. I'm lazy.

But it does have Nathan on it, so. That's cool. :)

SPEAKING OF NATHAN OGOD HEROES TOMORROW. sldhaksjfasfasf Although some vague spoiler synopsis sentence has killed much of my expectation for What I Want More Than the Second Coming of Christ, I WILL STILL HOPE. BECAUSE I AM A MASOCHIST APPARENTLY AND THIS SHOW CONTINUES TO BE MY READILY ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND.

but no seriously i can't physically stop hoping for this ;; fuckfuckfuck

BUT EITHER WAY I am excited despite all reason and the fact that the rest of me is full of anxiety. D8 Baw, self. Baw.

In other news, holy shit I need to get letters of rec and the rest of my LMU application together and study/read for a Latin America History quiz on Tuesday auuuuggghh faaaaaaaaack.

BUT HIGHER PRIORITY THAN THAT IS POSTAPOCA CROSSOVER NATHAN POST TO SAM. TRUFAX.
...oh jesus I am so gay for it kfjhkforiuoaska

Oh, look, that whiny Nathan fan retard is off in the blog corner bawing over season premiere.

...............ACTUALLY NO I LIKED IT VERY MUCH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT

cannot make a full entry right now but.... OKAY SO I ALMOST MADE A FULL ENTRY. KIND OF BIASED IN SUBJECT MATTER BUT. COURT ALREADY COVERED THE OTHER BASES SO.

( AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH )

anyway WHY YES I HAVE NO LIFE also holy shit I need to leave Court's house BYE

Speaking of Houses I had to admit to myself today that finding out about the Nathan stuff trumped House in a mental institution. You have no idea how depressing and humiliating this is. I HATE YOU SO MUCH, SELF. FAAAAAAACK

Erin: I WANT NATHAN TOO
Erin: IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR
Court: IDK
Court: I would show you gay carnies but I'm not sure that would help XD
Erin: fff JUST SHOW ME
Erin: unless
Erin: nathan is one of the carnies
Court: No
Erin: wait scratch that that would be awesome

oh god oh god oh jesus christ Heroes premiere in less than a week fuck me fuck me fuckkkkkkkkkkkk meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

IT IS LIKE THIS FEELING OF HORRIBLE PANIC RISING IN MY GUT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE EXCITED BUT I AM BUT I KNOW BY ALL GODS I SHOULDN'T BE SINCE THEY ARE GOING TO SHOW ME ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS AND CRUSH THEM ONCE AGAIN (see here.)

also I will watch House second since at least some psychological trauma will be immediately relieved by Damned!House yesssssss

I caught up on Heroes. :( With Court.

In one night. :((((

.......I AM SO STUPID FOR THIS SHOW FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Also, it was a hell of a lot better than the first half of S3 but I AM STILL NOT CONVINCED. I WILL NOT LEAVE MYSELF OPEN TO HOPE ONLY TO BE DISAPPOINTED ONCE AGAIN. though holy fuck nathan was hot holy fuck

AND WTF AT THE FIRST HALF OF FUGITIVES: WAS THE ENTIRE PLOT BASICALLY THAT NATHAN HAS A KINK FOR CHAINING PEOPLE UP IN UNCOMFORTABLY SMALL ROOMS? WHAT?

Tagged by tinted_glass for Nathan Petrelli. YEAH, THAT OBSCURE CHARACTER I NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT, GEEZ, THANKS, MINA. GET TO KNOW A GIRL.



1. Do you like this character?
OH DEAR GOD YES. TRY "LOVE." AND "ADORE." MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. Well, almost more than life itself. I mean, I made that entry a little while back about how I'm pretty damn sure he's my favorite character. Ever. omg naatahhannnannanaskjdhjkasfh <3333

( General spoilers up to mid season 3 and the one spoiler I know from the end of season 3. Also, some picspamming. )

9. Please choose 6 friends with your choice of character.
burningvigor - Peter Petrelli
chaneystarr - Claire Bennet
continuum - Sam Winchester
laverinth - Mohinder Suresh
leaute - River Tam
merelyaphase - Jonathan Crane
+loreamara - Roy Mustang (BECAUSE I CAN)

EDIT: Orite I am dumb and did not consider Maia some of you do not watch Heroes. SO HERE IS THE CODE FOR EVERYONE'S CONVENIENCE. <3

<b>1. Do you like this character?</b> <b>2. What name/s do you call this character?</b> <b>3. What colors do you associate with this character?</b> <b>4. What songs do you associate with this character?</b> <b>5. What blood type do you think this character is?</b> <b>6. What character do you like to put with this character?</b> <b>7. What would you want to say to this character?</b> <b>8. Which do want to do with this character: Shake hands, hug, fuck or kiss?</b> <b>9. Please choose 6 friends with your choice of character.</b> <lj site="livejournal.com" user="""> - character <lj site="livejournal.com" user="""> - character <lj site="livejournal.com" user="""> - character <lj site="livejournal.com" user="""> - character <lj site="livejournal.com" user="""> - character <lj site="livejournal.com" user="""> - character

Bahhhh I feel unproductive even when I am being productive.

I'm trying to get up really early so I can talk to Court in the morning (get up super early instead of staying up super late) and also because I'm way better at being on time to class when I wake up way ahead of schedule. The downside to this is, of course, that I can't stay up as late and if I don't properly manage my time, I feel like I've wasted a whole day.

Still, today, I woke up after only like 2 1/2 hours of sleep, did my Creative Writing assignment no sweat, talked to Court, got showered, got dressed, was able to get to class on time by taking the bus (GASP), went to my classes, wrote out some more of sweet, merciful Heroes headcanon oh nathan's lord in heaven a previously abandoned Peter/Adam DarkFuture fic (that I might actually be able to post publicly if I ever finish it, yay!) during said useless Creative Writing class (my prof spent like five minutes singing. I am not joking) and then spent time in my new haven of the SMC library and updated my Schoolhouse scheduling program and worked out my new schedule for catch-up reading and did some of that reading, which I'd been putting off, and once I have a foot in the door, it's much easier for me to complete a task than it is to get up and start it, so... that's good!

So all in all, I feel like I've been productive, but then I think back to apps and how I really need to get my ass in gear on reading them and how we're making people wait so long, and I also think how I was in the library for like four and a half hours and I should have been able to get more done, and just how I have such a horrible sense for time and time management and.... I don't know, I just feel like it takes me so much more time to do things than it should. ;; Even when I'm not actively procrastinating or anything! And then I get home and it's time to sleep again if I want to get up early. Auggghh. Which is what I need to do now. This also all might have to do with my issues with getting to my damn Anthro class on time or even getting to it at all and I hope I can pull a B from the class, at least, and it's ironic since the prof is great and a hilarious lecturer, but... augh, long story, but anyway, I seem to be fixing those problems now. ::Crosses fingers.::

So on one hand, I don't feel down in the dumps or anything like that and I think I'm heading in the right direction for my internal clock's sake, but on the other, I do feel kind of... I dunno, I don't think there's a word for it, but it's like very understated but chronic dissatisfaction and guilt over myself in general, I guess. Even though I do feel like I'm heading in a very positive direction? Idk.

I'll say "indescribable," because then I get to use a shiny new Nathan mood icon. Yeah. >>;;;;;

..................speaking of which.............................. .................NO ERIN YOU ARE NOT GOING INTO THAT RIGHT NOW ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEN YOU NEED TO QUALIFY WHAT YOU DO AND DO NOT KNOW AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE CATCHING UP WITH THIS FUCKING PERSONAL HELL ON EARTH AND GODDAMMIT YOU'RE STARTING ALREADY. ERIN. STOP. NOW. NEED TO GET INTO BED. GET INTO BED. ERIN.

And for once, I listen.

Oh, also, I'm on a huge E.S. Posthumus kick right now. tinted_glass is so my music soulmate. <33333

SOMEONE TELL ME JUST ONE THING TO ASSUAGE/CONFIRM MY INTENSE PARANOIA EVEN THOUGH I HAVE WATCHED LIKE NONE OF VOLUME 4 BUT I HAD THIS SAME GUT FEELING ABOUT S2 AND AND AND YEAH

DOES NATHAN DIE?????

y/n please. no details. :<

Depending on the answer, I'll be catching up with Court sometime soon god help me.

I agree with wiltingflower. Life isn't fair.

Someone at NBC knows I can't resist grungy!Nathan. Someone. :(

How does this show I hate have such a strangehold on my existence I mean honestly. WHAT ELSE DO I EVER WRITE ABOUT. WHAT THE HELL. I HAVE MORE TAGS FOR HEROES THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON MY ENTIRE GODDAMN LJ.

I should go do posts and read apps. Yes.

oh jesus christ. jesus christ. it's like whenever I try to leave you, you bring me back a box of chocolates and then a bouquet of flowers and then Nathan in chains and then a motherfucking a/u superbowl ad.

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK