I CHANGED MY LAYOUT. Well, not really – just the header and the colors. And the original layout isn't even my making so. Um. Yeah. I'm lazy.

But it does have Nathan on it, so. That's cool. :)

SPEAKING OF NATHAN OGOD HEROES TOMORROW. sldhaksjfasfasf Although some vague spoiler synopsis sentence has killed much of my expectation for What I Want More Than the Second Coming of Christ, I WILL STILL HOPE. BECAUSE I AM A MASOCHIST APPARENTLY AND THIS SHOW CONTINUES TO BE MY READILY ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND.

but no seriously i can't physically stop hoping for this ;; fuckfuckfuck

BUT EITHER WAY I am excited despite all reason and the fact that the rest of me is full of anxiety. D8 Baw, self. Baw.

In other news, holy shit I need to get letters of rec and the rest of my LMU application together and study/read for a Latin America History quiz on Tuesday auuuuggghh faaaaaaaaack.

BUT HIGHER PRIORITY THAN THAT IS POSTAPOCA CROSSOVER NATHAN POST TO SAM. TRUFAX.
...oh jesus I am so gay for it kfjhkforiuoaska

Holy shit, I haven't updated my journal in like a month and a half, have I?

WELL, UM, ANYWAY. YES, went to Japan for two weeks. 8D It was fantastic. I BOUGHT NINE DOUJIN MOSTLY HUGHES/ROY HA HA HA HAAA FOR 25 BUCKS. THIS DOUJIN STORE'S FMA SECTION WAS SO HUGE IT TOOK BATHS AT SEA WORLD IT HAD SEPARATE LABELED SECTIONS FOR PAIRINGSkjhfkasdjhgkalsjs Yes, this was the highlight of my trip wow I am not a loser. But seriously, it was great and it made me realize I do like to travel... just not with my parents. I walked a hell of a lot and got in actually decent shape but um now I am out of it again. D: And going back to my usual poundage ugghhhh.

I SHOULD MAKE A JAPAN POST but I probably never will durrrrrrr me but yeah, spent a week in Tokyo, the rest of the time in Kyoto, and took a day trip to Hiroshima. Spent a night in a ryokan and went to an onsen, which was quite pleasant. And ummm SAW COURT. <3! WOOOO.

Of course, I came back almost immediately to APPS APPS APPS and then promptly became sick, so that stalled my jet lag recovery for a while. D8 Once I got out of it, I was determined to start exercising again, so I pulled out the ol' DDR dance pad and I've been trying to do that every day but have been failing these past couple days. OH AND WE RANDOMLY GOT AN XBOX 360, FUCKING FINALLY. I spent like seven hours yesterday playing Mass Effect asfjkhaksfja. My brother pitched in on it and my parents paid for the rest as an early birthday gift to me, since when my actual birthday rolls around, it'll be about a week and a half before my application to LMU is due.

Oh, yeah, I also did that – visited an LMU admissions counselor and gave her my transcript and AP scores and stuff and asked her the questions I had and so on and so forth. She said I was good and competitive so hopefully I have a shot of getting in. Woooooooo.

Anything else? Ummmm nah – Japan just makes me wish I did more physical things instead of sitting on my fat ass. :| I THINK I WILL TRY TO PLAY OBLIVION FROM THE TREADMILL TOMORROW. LOLSCREENADDICTION

Also, the reason I finally made an entry was because I remembered it'd been a hell of a long time since I'd taken the small pleasure of picking out a Nathan mood icon etwaeslfka. ILU SO MUCH FLYING MAN WHICH IS MAYBE WHY I STILL DREAD SEEING THE REST OF S3 OH FUCK ME. THE HORRIBLE SEASON WHICH, BY THE WAY, STALKED ME TO JAPAN; I GO TO MY HOTEL ROOM TO FIND A TELEVISION PROGRAM PAMPHLET WITH SEASON 3 HIRO ON THE FRONT AND MORE ADS O ON THE INSIDE SITTING ON MY PILLOW. /whinewhinewhine

OH OH AND. WAS I CORRECT IN DISCOVERING THAT THIS COMING SEASON OF SUPERNATURAL PREMIERES ON OCTOBER 4TH??? WHICH IS MY BIRTHDAY??? Because if true, I am SO having a combo birthday/Supernatural premiere party AHAHAHA. I WANT AN IMPALA-SHAPED BIRTHDAY CAKE. :|

the end

Also oh shit I need to throw Sybrows out into the ZOMBIE MADNESS, don't I? :X

.........also I need to make that Nathan layout I keep telling myself I'll do to match my moodtheme. 8D SOMEDAY WHEN I AM NOT DOING TONS OF OTHER THINGS.

ANNNND I SHOULD HAVE CLICKED "SUBMIT" HOURS AGO WAT SELF

Bahhhh I feel unproductive even when I am being productive.

I'm trying to get up really early so I can talk to Court in the morning (get up super early instead of staying up super late) and also because I'm way better at being on time to class when I wake up way ahead of schedule. The downside to this is, of course, that I can't stay up as late and if I don't properly manage my time, I feel like I've wasted a whole day.

Still, today, I woke up after only like 2 1/2 hours of sleep, did my Creative Writing assignment no sweat, talked to Court, got showered, got dressed, was able to get to class on time by taking the bus (GASP), went to my classes, wrote out some more of sweet, merciful Heroes headcanon oh nathan's lord in heaven a previously abandoned Peter/Adam DarkFuture fic (that I might actually be able to post publicly if I ever finish it, yay!) during said useless Creative Writing class (my prof spent like five minutes singing. I am not joking) and then spent time in my new haven of the SMC library and updated my Schoolhouse scheduling program and worked out my new schedule for catch-up reading and did some of that reading, which I'd been putting off, and once I have a foot in the door, it's much easier for me to complete a task than it is to get up and start it, so... that's good!

So all in all, I feel like I've been productive, but then I think back to apps and how I really need to get my ass in gear on reading them and how we're making people wait so long, and I also think how I was in the library for like four and a half hours and I should have been able to get more done, and just how I have such a horrible sense for time and time management and.... I don't know, I just feel like it takes me so much more time to do things than it should. ;; Even when I'm not actively procrastinating or anything! And then I get home and it's time to sleep again if I want to get up early. Auggghh. Which is what I need to do now. This also all might have to do with my issues with getting to my damn Anthro class on time or even getting to it at all and I hope I can pull a B from the class, at least, and it's ironic since the prof is great and a hilarious lecturer, but... augh, long story, but anyway, I seem to be fixing those problems now. ::Crosses fingers.::

So on one hand, I don't feel down in the dumps or anything like that and I think I'm heading in the right direction for my internal clock's sake, but on the other, I do feel kind of... I dunno, I don't think there's a word for it, but it's like very understated but chronic dissatisfaction and guilt over myself in general, I guess. Even though I do feel like I'm heading in a very positive direction? Idk.

I'll say "indescribable," because then I get to use a shiny new Nathan mood icon. Yeah. >>;;;;;

..................speaking of which.............................. .................NO ERIN YOU ARE NOT GOING INTO THAT RIGHT NOW ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEN YOU NEED TO QUALIFY WHAT YOU DO AND DO NOT KNOW AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE CATCHING UP WITH THIS FUCKING PERSONAL HELL ON EARTH AND GODDAMMIT YOU'RE STARTING ALREADY. ERIN. STOP. NOW. NEED TO GET INTO BED. GET INTO BED. ERIN.

And for once, I listen.

Oh, also, I'm on a huge E.S. Posthumus kick right now. tinted_glass is so my music soulmate. <33333